Mediocre...

...is defined as " of moderate or low quality, value, ability, or performance."

So perhaps my feeling mediocre is inaccurate based off that definition. What I most likely am is inconsistent. I have ups and downs without having any answer as to what causes the "up" or what causes the "down." Which, of course, is somewhat normal in the beginning...but I feel that I should be seeing some progress in that area.

I feel a constant frustration towards my performance, whether it's just during a lesson or during a tournament. Fencing doesn't come easy for me. I'm not athletic, strong, or even remotely "in shape." There are moments when I wonder if I have reached the highest level I ever will. I know certain people wonder why I spend so much time and money on this when it's not something at which I'm very good. My past M.O. has been to cut and run whenever I fail to succeed at something right away, to move on and find something "easy." What may appear to be success to some people, is usually me just getting by. Because of that, I have created this persona of someone who has it all together, who accepts nothing but perfection from herself and therefore projects her unreasonably high standard for herself onto others. Fencing is more than a hobby, sport, or workout for me. It's my way of changing who I've been; it's a challenge to myself. I'm not going to walk away from this because I'm not perfect the first, second, or even third time around. This isn't just about fighting to become a good fencer, it's a fight to change my perceptions about what defines the kind of person I am.

Must Remember...

...when lunging, ARM FIRST! Gah! Of course I know this...but do I do it? Sporadically. A very subtle change in movement, but makes a big difference. So to myself I say, "Arm first, just let the disengage happen."

It's Official...

...I guess I'm teaching the adult beginner class starting next session...! Maybe I'm ready, maybe I'm not... The powers that be seem to think I can handle it, so I guess I'll defer to them. Should be interesting. I have a month to prepare, so I'm going into an organizing frenzy; lesson plans, outlines, diagrams, etc. How does one teach the en garde position? I just...do it... This is going to take a lot of thought. I pity this first class. But at least I don't start teaching until next month, when my furlough days change. I will be teaching Thursdays and my weekend starts Thursday, so I won't have to worry about dashing off to work after class!

So simple...and yet so miserably difficult!!

Last nights lesson consisted of lunges...a lot of them. Easy enough, right? A very simple action: Lunge and if parried, disengage around it. GAHHH! I think I did it right...maybe...twice...and I think I'm being pretty generous with that. Argh. And this action should be second nature to me. *sigh*

Upcoming Tournaments

Here are some upcoming tournaments. Of course, my participation is subject to change... For more information, click on the tournament name.

March 21st

FDL St. Paddy's Day Tournament
Mixed Epee
1pm

March 22nd

SAS Women's Open Epee
Women's Epee
2pm

April 4th

WWD Divisional Qualifier - Div II/III Events
Division II/III Women's Epee
10am

Stats for the year...to be expanded upon later...

October: SAS Women's D & Under Epee (D1) - 11/15

November: FDL Turkey Tourney (C1) - 15/15

November: SAS Women's Epee (B1) - 10/17

January: Battle in Seattle (A1) - 11/21

January: SFU January Joust (E1) - 6/9 (Sabre), 10/11 (Epee)

February: MTFC Day-After-Valentine's Day Tourney (D1) - 8/19

I have two tournaments coming up at the end of this month. One on the 21st and one on the 22nd (of course they have to be on the same weekend...) both in Seattle. I hope to post my pool and DE results from each of my tournaments and hash out what went wrong (or right).

Is she ever going to post?!

Yes...my apologies...

I'm working graveyard and will be until October. Sound terrible? Meh, I get used to it. Hence why I am writing this at three in the morning.

Since starting this blog months ago and not posting, I have had three tournaments. The Battle in Seattle, SFU January Joust, and the MTFC Day-After-Valentine's Day tournament. All provided good learning experiences. At SFU, I fenced in a sabre event for the first time. It was very fun, but exhausting. I also did epee right after sabre and...well...did miserably. My timing and distance were completely off not to mention I was worn out from all the running sabre requires. At MTFC, I won my first DE. That was a huge step for me, since I typically loose my DE's (by a lot). I placed the highest I ever have (8th out of 19) but that rating is as elusive as ever...

One big change was my decision to put sabre on the back burner for a while. Yeah, after competing with it once, I realized I couldn't put the time into two weapons that I wanted. I spend approximately ten hours a week with epee. I was spending one hour with sabre. Not wanting to continue in mediocrity, I'm going to wait and just focus on epee for now. Eventually, I will pick sabre up again, but not right now.